Sleep in love…

These pictures were all caught in late night checks when the two kids were deep asleep… I really love the way they sleep…

Ju and Jeanne, these are memories for you to keep…

A new year ahead… for me

There are so many belated things that I would like to blog and rant about. Too many to put in a post, so I will upload one at a time.

Changes after changes, year after year… I step into my 31st year of my life… That was in July anyway, 2 months ago…

I thank God for blessing me with all the trials to help me grow… and all the goodness He had blessed me with to overcome all the trials… I thank HIM for my life…

John brought me to a good treat at Coffee Club at Rendezvous Hotel, the one which he used to bring me when we were dating…

How yummy my birthday cake was? You can see it on Julian’s face…

She cries… She smiles…

Jeanne is 4 months old today. First 3 months of her life was filled sobbing, crying, wailing, screaming…

Why? I wonder too… she is just so different from Julian comparing between their early life.

I reflected and figured…

During the early days of Ju, there was not much activities around to take my attention away from Ju. I recalled… I could read my book or watch my favourite shows on TV while he was sleeping. Cooking was not a priority at that time. We could easily settle our meals by dining out. Now, I need to cook for the family especially Julian. At that time, housework were basically done on maintenance basis. Now, constant tidying and vacuuming are required with Ju and activities going on at home. At that time, I could carry him, sing with him, play with him, be with him everytime when he is awake. He soothes contentedly by nursing most of the time when he cried. Now, I could not carry or be with Jeanne as much with all the chores to be done and need to settle Ju too. As a result from the time I bonded with Ju, he became a very emotionally secure child… till today he still is. But for Jeanne, it does not seem so.

Because of what I experienced with Ju… I expected handling Jeanne after birth will not be tough.

Reality sets in when Jeanne was born. During the 2 days stay in hospital, I knew it is going to be different. I expected she would nurse to sleep but she rejected nursing when she had enough milk. I expected swaddling would be the solution to sleep but she screamed when being restrained. Nurses from the nursery commented she cries alot more than other babies. Back home, crying is her main activity in the day. Some say she is doing lung workout but I thought it is too much. Even when we carry her upright, lying down, any anti colic position that we knew of, it did not help. Nursing does not attract her either, she cried worse when there was let down. Everyone who had seen her crying commented that she knows what she don’t want and she obviously knows how to protest.

There were times when she would be crying less, that is me carrying her in sling and out of home. We figured she needs visual stimulation outdoors.

At home, I must confess that I did not carry her as and when she cries which is just so constant. I would finish whatever I am doing on hand before I attend to her. Gradually she began to cry herself to sleep sometimes in the day. She also found her lovely fingers which she learned to later soothe herself to sleep. Recently she is beginning to like the idea of nursing to sleep and I am really glad about that. During Ju’s time, I always thought how nice it will be if he does not nurse to sleep. Now I disagree to my own thoughts.

Each time I see her sucking her fingers now, I could not help but relate that she is feeling insecure and stressed and I feel bad about it.

These few weeks she had improved… less cries… More smiles… How sweet it is to see her smiles… I can’t get enough of them…

She smiles when…

She sees me awake in the morning…

She sees handsign of “change” when it’s time for diaper change…

She lies down on the quilt after a long trip outdoor in sling…

We smile at her…

We talk to her…

I am totally humbled by her. God send her to me to teach me what it means by every child is different.

I am not Ju Ju, I am Kor Kor!

Julian seems to be very happy with his new companion and proud with his new status. He would often tell us ” I am not Ju Ju, I am kor kor!” or “I am a good big brother!”

These are the precious moments we had managed to capture so far…

Crying on his tummy early in the morning, a forgiving brother.

Chose a toy for her taking care that it is not something small and sharp…

SHe don’t know to hold the toy yet so he turned to talk to her instead.

Talk, talk, talk…

Lying down looking at her face…

Holding her hand…

He thinks mei mei is sick…

Bathing her together with daddy…

Learning to swaddle her, his way…

Soaking with her…

She looking at him…

Nap together…

His favourite is placing her lie on his lap…

Eensy Winsy Spider…

Her head keeps “falling”…

She is very heavy!

Anticipation

Anticipation of life

Sick yet still strong..

Can’t remember when was the last time that Ju fell ill.. Last Friday, he was down with fever for two days then flu and cough till now.. today, he is having fever again.. 

He is sick but not fussing, I must say he is such a strong boy.. Think if it is me, I will be crying and whining my misery.  Just awhile ago, he was so happy chatting and jumping around in front of the laptop while we were on Skype with daddy in Paris.

Carrying him in my arms after giving his medications, he fell asleep right away.. I softly said “Ju sleep ok. Mummy is here.” He answered me with both eyes closed “K”. This was a moment which nearly brought tears to my eyes..

My dear, quick recover ok..

Who’s that?

Who is this?

 

It’s me!